Claim:   A test message slips into a live mailing, resulting in each prospective customer's being greeted with the salutation "Dear Rich Bastard."

Status:   Undetermined.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 1997]

The National Westminster Bank in England admitted last month that it keeps personal information about its customers — such as their political affiliation — on computer. But now Computer Weekly reveals that a financial institution, sadly unnamed, has gone one better and moved into the realm of personal abuse. The institution decided to mass-mail 2000 of its richest customers, inviting them to buy extra services. One of its computer programmers wrote a program to search through the databases and select its customers automatically. He tested the program with an imaginary customer called Rich Bastard. Unfortunately, an error resulted in all 2000 letters being addressed "Dear Rich Bastard". The luckless programmer was subsequently fired.

Origins:   According to a bit in a 1993 New Scientist magazine "Feedback" column, this story supposedly dates to a 1993 article in Computer Weekly. But other than Computer Weekly's publication of this tale, there's no supporting evidence for it, and no other mainstream press publication carried anything about this mailing.

That's not to say mess-ups don't occasionally find their way into mass mailings — they do. A situation similar to the legend occurred for real when U.S. vice-presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro's computer sent out letters thanking supporters for their help in her 1984 campaign. Supporters with the title "Mrs." found themselves addressed as "Rabbi", while all those with the title "Mr." were promoted to "Colonel". Someone performing data entry had mistyped the numeric code for certain fields, requiring 5,000 letters of apology to be sent out to correct the gaffe.

Yet another related tale, this one also true. A Wells Fargo EquityLine statement of 2 February 1988 carried the following message at the bottom:

You owe your soul to the company store. Why not owe your home to Wells Fargo? An equity advantage loan can help you spend what would have been your children's inheritance.

Nine days later, Wells Fargo sent out the following letter:

I wish to extend my personal apology for a message printed on your EquityLine statement dated February 2, 1988.

This message was not a legitimate one. It was developed as part of a test program by a staff member, whose sense of humor was somewhat misplaced, and it was inadvertently inserted in that day's statement mailing. The message in no way conveys the opinion of Wells Fargo Bank or its employees.

James G. Jones, Executive Vice President, South Bay Service Center

Wells Fargo spokesperson Kim Kellogg said, "From now on, we're just going to type, 'Testing One, Two, Three' at the bottom."

Barbara "some banks issue statements; others, apologies" Mikkelson

Last updated:   3 January 2007

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  Sources:

    Classe, Alison.   "Comedy of Features."

    Accountancy.   May 1995   (p. 69).

    Conconi, Chuck.   "The Ferraro Papers."

    The Washington Post.   14 December 1984   (p. C3).

    Foote, Cornelius F.   "Bank's Message Shocks Customers."

    The Washington Post.   27 February 1988   (p. E3).

    Shields, Tom.   "Thanks for the Memory."

    The [Glasgow] Herald.   27 August 1993   (p. 18).

    Los Angeles Times.   "Footnotes: Humor Doesn't Hit Home."

    22 February 1988   (p. D1).

    New Scientist.   "Feedback."

    28 August 1993.

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  Also told in:

    Flynn, Mike.   The Best Book of Bizarre But True Stories Ever.

    London: Carlton, 1999.   ISBN 1-85868-558-3   (p. 34).